The following is an excerpt from Doktor Bey’s Suicide Guidebook, just published in a Black Scat Classic Interim Edition, part of the Absurdist Texts & Documents series. Limited to 85 copies.
THE SUICIDE NOTE
Here are ten tips to aid you in writing your suicide note, a particular often overlooked.
- Use of the first person is generally preferred.
- For maximum impact and credibility, always write in the past tense. (Example:: I was a failure in business.)
- If you are without family, friends, or even enemies, address the note “To Whom It May Concern.”
- When possible, use a typewriter. Far too many notes are indecipherable.
- Keep a carbon copy in your pocket, in case the original is misplaced.
- Do not concern yourself with the “beginning-middle-end” rule. Just concentrate on the end.
- Keep in mind that these are your last words. They should be commensurate with your social position. They should reverberate in the reader’s mind! Avoid such clichés as “Goodbye cruel world” and “To be or not to be . . .” Strive for the poetic.
- Self-pity, slang, and obscenity are acceptable.
- If artistically inclined, attach a self-portrait.
- Be brief. Nothing is more boring than a long goodbye.
* * * *
Better not answer it, you never know who’s calling. Wait until the shadows pass. It’s safer in the light. John Nickle is a master of shadows. With colored pencils and acrylic paint he has created moody crime scenes for novels by the likes of Ross MacDonald, James Swain, Sjöwall and Wahlöö, and many others. He’s well known for his distinctive, cinematic style—creepy and comic. A dark sense of humor lies just beneath the surface like a hastily buried corpse. 
Even the artist’s popular children’s illustrations posses sinister overtones. Then again, it’s a dangerous world out there. 
Black Scat Books proudly announces a limited edition collection of John Nickle’s best cover art and illustrations produced over the past 25 years—Nickle Noir: The Art of John Nickle—featuring a revealing introduction by the artist and full color reproductions. 144 pages to die for.
blackscatbooks.com 