Tag: books

Happy Summer Reading!

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Summer-Solstice

Please consider these fine titles:

CAPTAIN CAP (VOL. II)  Alphonse Allais. Translated by Doug Skinner
THE MAN WHO WALKED ON AIR & OTHER TALES OF INNOCENCE Alain Arias-Misson
WASTED ENERGIES, BAFFLED THOUGHTS  G. Mackenzie Bacon
A CAMI SAMPLER. Pierre Henri Cami. Translated by John Crombie
THE NEGLECTED WORKS OF NORMAN CONQUEST
THE TWO LOVES OF NUNNY  Farewell Debut
THE OTHER SIDE: THE SHOCKING TRUTH BEHIND 100 CLASSIC PAINTINGS
C.S. Hibbard
KIRGHIZ STEPPES: ACCUMULATED VERBO-VISUALS  M. Kasper
THE WORKS & LIFE OF KOSTY RICHARDS: AN AMERICAN CAREER  Richard Kostelanetz
IT’S FUN TO BE RICH IN AMERICA Michael Leigh & Norman Conquest
THE COMPLETE UNABRIDGED LEXICON  Opal Louis Nations
NICKLE NOIR: THE ART OF JOHN NICKLE  John Nickle
DOKTOR BEY’S SUICIDE GUIDEBOOK  Derek Pell
HOW I BECAME AN IDIOT  Francisque Sarcey  (Alphonse Allais)
HOT HEART OF BOAR & OTHER TASTES  Terry Southern

BLACK SCAT REVIEW – Number One
BLACK SCAT REVIEW – Number Two
BLACK SCAT REVIEW – Number Three

Happy Summer!

How to Write the Suicide Note

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The following is an excerpt from Doktor Bey’s Suicide Guidebook, just published in a Black Scat Classic Interim Edition,  part of the Absurdist Texts & Documents series. Limited to 85 copies.

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THE SUICIDE NOTE

Here are ten tips to aid you in writing your suicide note, a particular often overlooked.

  1. Use of the first person is generally preferred.

  2. For maximum impact and credibility, always write in the past tense. (Example:: I was a failure in business.)

  3. If you are without family, friends, or even enemies, address the note “To Whom It May Concern.”

  4. When possible, use a typewriter. Far too many notes are indecipherable.

  5. Keep a carbon copy in your pocket, in case the original is misplaced.

  6. Do not concern yourself with the “beginning-middle-end” rule. Just concentrate on the end.

  7. Keep in mind that these are your last words. They should be commensurate with your social position.  They should reverberate in the reader’s mind!  Avoid such clichés as “Goodbye cruel world” and “To be or not to be . . .” Strive for the poetic.

  8. Self-pity, slang, and obscenity are acceptable.

  9. If artistically inclined, attach a self-portrait.

  10. Be brief. Nothing is more boring than a long goodbye.


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Doktor Bey's Suicide Guidebook

CLICK HERE TO ORDER A COPY

Look it up!

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lexicon-cover

Masonic
Sound or sounds which pass rapidly through brick and stone walls

Matinee
A church service of morning prayer followed by a Biblical movie

Mausoleum
Hard floor-covering made of ground cork and linseed oil on a canvas backing, found in many large, imposing tombs throughout Asia Minor

Maximum
A full-time working mother with a large family

Mayonnaise
The sophisticated dance routine of a Central American Indian tribe who had formulated a highly developed civilization

Mazurka
A lively dance through a confusing, intricate network of pathways bordered with neatly kept topiary

Mediocre
The 15th Century sport of pissing in another’s glass of mead

Megger
A female mugger

Melancholia
A tonic made from cantaloupes prescribed to relieve extreme depression

Membranophone
A telephonic apparatus for transmission of sound or speech to a distant point through a pliable series of layers composed of animal or vegetable tissue (a soft house-phone)

Mercantile
A lizard-like reptilian found in many polluted waters

Mermaid’s purse
(Slang) A rather wet, slobbery kiss

Mesopause
The split floor area of a low story between two other stories of greater height in a building

Mesopeak
A mountain summit of lesser altitude than those which overshadow it on one or more sides

Metallurgy
A hypersensitivity to specific alloys such as brass or bronze

Metaphor
An imaginary apparatus for conveying objects and concepts which do not literally denote, in order to suggest comparison with another object or concept by means of mental signals, as a bright idea, the radiance of which may be changed

Methanation
An aggregation of Methodist persons of the same ethnic family, often speaking the same language or cognate languages

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from The Complete Unabridged Lexicon by Opal Louis Nations

The Brighton Daily Herald says “Nations gives new meaning to the word definition.”

OUT OF PRINT

Southern Discomfort…

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cover12a

A yummy treat (for those with strong stomachs) is coming soon in our Absurdist Texts & Documents series…a new collection of strange  “tastes” from the late master chef Terry Southern:

HOT HEART OF BOAR & Other Tastes

We’ll be serving it fresh—piping hot and throbbing—in a limited edition of only 125 copies. First come, first served.

The book features rare unpublished texts, including an excerpt from The Hunters of Karinhall—a screenplay that, sadly, was never filmed. It’s a bloody masterpiece, and we do mean bloody. There’s also a private letter to William Burroughs; a vomiting priest; “K.Y. Madness,” and more.

In addition to the author’s culinary delights, you’ll find illuminating introductory notes by Nile Southern, as well as tastefully explicit illustrations by Norman Conquest.

In short, it’s a full-boar feast for famished fans of black humor.

Prepare to dig in.

Latest Scat Happenings Around the Globe

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poster

MOVEMENTS IN MOTION

Frédéric Acquaviva writes from Berlin to inform us of the above exhibition in the UK on March 4th. Anyone planning to be in London should make a point of attending. Visitors can eyeball & sniff rare specimens  of DADA, LETTRISM, FLUXUS, FUTURISM, SOUND & CONCRETE POETRY. You’ll also spot Black Scat’s Considerations on the Death and Burial of Tristan Tzara by Isidore Isou  which—like a talisman–will hang  suspended from the ceiling in a plastic envelope. For those unable to attend, we’ll be posting  photos from the show.

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publicpoem

AIR FRANCE: MISSON IMPOSSIBLE

We’ll also be posting photos of Alain Arias-Misson when he travels to New York City from his home in Paris.  There will be many gala events from March 12-19th: an art exhibition, performance of his Public Poem, as well as a series of readings from his new fiction collection,  The Man Who Walked On Air & Other Tales of Innocence – published by Black Scat. The book is now available on Amazon in Europe as well as here in the USA.

We will post  details of Alain’s whirlwind tour in the near future.

While you’re waiting…